Memoirs of the Good Wife ~ Crushed...



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She could still remember the day he told her about his wish to marry another woman.
They were both in the car, it was on one of the the last 10 days of Ramadhan 2017.

He said it as if he didn’t hurt her…She found it difficult…but she repeated what was said to confirm what she heard was right. Her tears just started to flow and the pain she felt in her heart was harsh.

How could he offer to marry MH (the other woman)…? Why does he want to make her happy? So what if MH was his first love…? Didn’t 12 years of marriage override his first love?
So many thoughts rushed through her head.

Disappointed was just an understatement. Devastated and betrayed.

Most importantly….she realised all these years, when he mentioned about taking a 2nd wife, he was actually serious. What about their marriage?…
What about the memories and happy road that they had travelled together, being each other’s strength? What about the challenges they had been through with each other?

Suddenly, it was all about MH, her feelings and how he wanted to save MH.
How about her? His wife of 12 years… She admitted, the last 5 years was bumpy and she didn’t really care for him, as she was tending to her children and mother who seemed to need her more. She didn’t realised, her husband moved away …and had feelings for another lady… (MH)
She blamed herself just as much.
She cried…she couldn’t take the hurt. Was this her retribution?

He assured her. He loved her and the kids. ..and He would not let them go ever…He just wanted to give MH some of his time. He wanted to make MH happy as well since she never got married after they broke up 14 years ago.

MH would just need some of his time and companionship as she was very financially independent, holding a good job with the Ministry….and It would be a good thing for her….sisterhood and a friend that she could count on. MH would love her kids as well. He wanted her to think positively. He said that God will assist and pave the way if they had good thoughts on Polygamy.

But She hated MH even before she knew her. She didn’t want MH to love her kids. She felt jealous that hubby was speaking good of MH. Yes maybe MH was a good lady but
if she was a good lady, she would not break up a marriage. 
She would not want to share husbands. She would not hurt the the 1st wife.

How can Polygamy be a good thing for her even though its Halal in Islam? But how can she reject it as well knowing her husband has promised to be fair and Adil. 
All these questions raced through her mind and it broke her heart even more.

She knew she was being selfish. She knew she didn’t own her husband. And She knew Polygamy could solve social illness like Zinar. But still she could not allow it. If she did, she would destroy herself. 

She went on crying for the next 5 nights before she realised, she must fight to save her marriage….She changed. 

Now her husband is 1st priority in her life. And the lovey-doveys public display of affection has returned. She wasn’t shy to show her feelings and she told her hubby how she felt every day. She told him she loved him…everyday. She ensured he was happy with her. She changed her style. 

They are very much in love now… though she knows, once his mind was set, he will proceed. He was always stubborn like that.

Some might ask, why trow herself at him? She has her own reasons one might not understand. She blamed herself so much for allowing her husband to fall for another woman. 

She prayed for Allah to give only the best to her family and hinder anything that would destroy them, Duniya and Akhirat….

Polygamy… something Halal but painful. Just like Divorce, something Halal but Hated by Allah.

She hadn’t seen any 2 wives happily married to 1 man and getting along well with each other. She hadn’t found any good examples. He pleaded with her to be one…to show the rest that It could be done. To be a good example to the society. 

She heard many horror stories even for the local and international Ustazs who had 2 wives but both the wives could not see eye to eye with each other..she thought…what more her, a common normal simple lady….She wanted to be good but she hated MH and can’t see any way it could work.

He said she was the chosen one… not many women are tested this way, and she could enter Jannah…if she allowed her husband to marry another woman with an open heart. She struggled with this dilemma…She wants Jannah…Its eternity…but to allow would make her mad and will eventually destroy her deen. Initially she thought she could say Yes to it... but slowly, she knew it was too difficult. 

She was still young and beautiful and sweet. 

She insisted on “No”… till today……

Is she wrong to say "NO"? 

and why does she feel, she has done him wrong?.......................

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