Words from my Heart...

In my house,  there is a Musolla, where I do my prayers, read the Quran, zikir,  and basically just be alone...... This place calms me .... calms my worried soul.... hopefully, when we move, if we ever, than I can find a little space for our very own Musollah again.... I feel like I am going through something similar to last year,  I must cling on to ALLAH's Will......

It hasn't been an easy start of the year with Abang...... He hates studying... It takes alot of coaxing and alot of encouragement before he starts writing.... and every work, needs to be guided. He can do it, I know he can cos for some Maths sums, he is able to do it with no problem.  If he was STUPID, he wouldn't be able to do his multiplication sums with ease.  But anything unfamiliar, takes alot of guidance.  I know I should not be comparing Abang with Adik but its unavoidable.  Adik takes out her homework and starts doing it on her own, while all Ummi needs to do is check and correct it.  I am trying my best to be patient with Abang.... giving praises and encouragement when its due and trying my best not to beat him. 2 days ago, while teaching Abang double digit Times, I really lost it.... cos he didn't make any effort to pay attention and even threw a tantrum.  I should have known kan, Abang was sleepy but I forced it...

Dont you wish sometimes, some people could just stay in your life....and never leave?? I wished you never left us daddy.... I wished, everything goes back like how it was.... In nights like this, when the kids are asleep and I am all alone and there are just so many things going on, I wish so much that I have you by my side. You used to give me good advise and make me feel that everything will be all right..... Dad, I miss you. Why.... Abang is just not behaving today... Sometimes, you behave, and sometimes, nothing else goes through..... Ummi is wondering, how else, Ummi can help you.... It really takes alot of patience..... Ummi has to hold a belt before you can even listen.... Oh God, please show me the right way to be the best parent to this child..... : (

Spent the CNY holiday break attending Shaykh Aslam's events organised by Sout Ilaahi.... Including a close-door session talk where Shaykh Abdul Aziz Ahmed and Shaykh Aslam's discussed moderation in Islam.... I still can remember the Pizza Gang story which really is useful on how to show moderation when dealing with situations in our daily lives... It is very important to handle everything in moderation. Not every thing has to be forceful and follow our own believes.  Took too many notes for my own self improvement.... realized that at the end of the day, its very important to repent and return back to ALLAH swt no matter how much we have sinned.  Seriously, thanks to Sout Ilaahi for organising this talk....I really like the founders of this organisation K and A....they are my friends for so many years, and they are people who welcome people from all walks of life eventhough they are so busy doing what they do....RESPECT.... Ahamdullilah, I got to do khidmah...

Hari ni, tekak teringin sangat makan Petai masak dengan ikan bilis goreng ..walaupun takde sesiapa pun kat rumah yang makan petai kecuali saya,.... Budak - budak dekat rumah mak... Hubby pulak ke Masjid Abdul Razak...alhamdullilah, dapat peluang ambil para habaib dari Masjid Ba'Alwie hari ini..... so apa lagi........ chop chop, wash wash, goreng goreng.... dah siap!!  comfort food Ummi.....  Jemput tengok ye...Bismillah...

Ok, finally I caved in.... On MC today despite working for the past 3 days with fever and flu.  Went to my old blog here , relived the memories..re read the stories..... My heart yearns for our old life back.... We were literally the 'Habaibs chasers'...... we used to visit any Ulama' and Alims we know who were in town, local ones, foreign ones, visited them at their homes, stalked them outside the masjids.... Masya'Allah....The pictures of my kids, my pregnancy stories and I could never forget 'Little Habib' Hubby, can we have our old life back? Visiting Habib Abbas at Marshall Lane- Habby with Adik on his lap Hubby carrying Abang to get doa khusus from Shaykh Khalil Moore  Abang aka Little Habib getting doa khusus fom Habib Al Banjari Abang getting doa khusus from Habib Umar bin Hafiz while Ustaz Hassan looks on Us attending Maulid attended by Almarhum Habib Munzir Al Mussawwa A bangs's 2nd Birthday party...

\ had been down with fever for the past 2 days.... Alhamdullilah, today the sore throat got better after Kak Rozan pass me some powerful lozenges...I must remember to ask her whats the brand of it.... still went to work despite the temperature cos its just to early in the year to take Mcs.  Thought I could go to the DR after magrib, but as soon as I made the appointment, I had to cancel it cos I realized Abang has Maths, English and Malay Karangan homework and needed my help in all 3.  So, how can Ummi leave the house to go to the clinic right? Abah will only be back later at night..even if he was at home, the homework won't get done the way I wanted it to be..... Looks likes its self medication again for Ummi.... Nasib Panadol and antibiotics masih ada lagi.... Looking at how much Abang needs me, I sense, how much the kids needs a mother by their side. How precious are mothers. Alhamdullilah, Allah has granted me this honour to be a mother.  Mothers, wha...

In some walks, you just have to be alone... but why do you have to leave me? Why didn't you just went ahead....to love me 110 percent? Don't you know that I could love you even more? They say time will heal, To me, it just erases the hurt but the memories remain...and when your mind wonders, That's when the hurt return..... It hurt's that you no longer talk to me the way you do, don't you know, I pray for you always. I covered my heart, and changed the sadness to a smile, picked up the broken pieces so no one will ever know .... I see the chaos, I felt the pain, I know the loneliness ..... yet I call it LOVE.