Posts

Memoirs of the Good Wife ~ In Laws and Hearts broken

Its been 5 days since her dad said he made a police report against me for Harassment. I don’t know which part was harassment as it was family affairs and all this while in my 5 attempts to contact her, I had been very polite and full of adab.
I also don’t know if he was just threatening me so I would stop texting him. He didn’t want his daughter to be blamed in all of this. I understand.  
Never once had I hurled any vulgarities to them. That is not me. But of course I was getting paranoid. I don't know what was happening as you never reassure me. 
The emotional turmoil of what her dad said in his last text was so great, I could not eat and in this spate of 5 days, I lost 2.5 KG. What he said about me and us were totally not true. 
I had also deleted whatever information I had of her from my phone and her dad’s contact number. I don’t want to remember them anymore.
I had also deleted all my Memoirs of a Good Wife series relating to this incident cos I was too afraid it was deemed as …

~ May 2017.... The feelings I feel

Image
I felt so empty today, maybe cos it’s been 3 days of heavy bleeding….. The soul felt lost. As if there is no life, like a zombie just making her way to work, on a gloomy Monday Morning….. My heart belongs at home with my kids… after spending a good weekend with them…My lips smile, thinking of the last weekend…. Drove around with the kids and Mum…I feel proud of myself, able to take up my hubby’s role which is to run the errands and able to drive further than my comfort zone. We went to my cousin’s place in Bedok and then I drove mum and Rania back to Figaro.
The past few months have been a big test for me… with mum’s sickness and Abang’s behavior issues. I must say, I don’t really know how I managed to go through all this if it is not for Allah’s help. Many times, I felt as if I was going crazy. Juggling everything from a daughter, to a mother to a wife. Not to mention his in senseless idea to get a second wife.
Am I selfish to not agree?
Anyway, Mum is well now, Alhamdullilah….her spine i…

~The Journey - 4 years On...

Image
I would never have thought that 4 years since 2013, I would have the strength to write like this...

Someone wrote to me today. Regarding Abang’s ADHD. I could see myself in her 3 years ago. Confused and worries, cos there are many questions unanswered.
The sad thing is ADHD is not a sickness where you can see the marks or symptoms. Kids with ADHD look normal, but their brains cannot process some things, therefore most people who do not know about ADHD will think and presume that the child is naturally naughty, stubborn, rude and ill-discipline. The parents get the blame for not discipline the child thus, putting a lot of anger and frustrations in the parents.
It really helps if both parents can accept the fact and stick together to help the child. For my case, I was really alone because my husband, do not believe in ADHD.
Alhamdullilah, it’s been 4 years since Abang was diagnosed. It’s still a challenge, most days, I have to repeat myself like a parrot for him to stop beating Adik, or f…

~ Mummy

Image

~ Spine Infection...

Image
Everytime mum goes into hospital, My life will go topsy turvy For a start, the hospital is not near home, from Tampines to Outram is quite a journey. The journey itself is tiring as the walk to the hospital blocks are a challenge when going with kids. To Drive there also takes effort. Not having time on my side also drains me and I have to juggle a full time career, kids schoolwork/tuition and time for visiting mum and speaking to the drs all at once.
you feel me?
We took mum out from CGH after a minor commotion at the ward when Mas went against the Drs advise to get mum out. Her fever was down but the scans showed something unusual. I will be sending mum to SGH later tonight... maybe ard 3 am to beat the A&E crowd We have to get Mum warded there instead. The DRs at SGH seems more knowledgeable and sure, thus leaving us feeling at ease.
CT scan showed some pus on the bottom of her spine....causing the excruciating pain that mum have been putting up with lately. We had thought that the…

~ Mum....

Back from hiatus. 
The past few mths was spent on caring, fussing and spending time with the kids and immersing my concentration on their school work and their well being of adjusting to a new class with new teachers. 

I tried to heal myself by forgetting about that one person whom I had yearned for. 
I cut off all contacts and I spend my free time, reading the Quran. 

I tried to drown my sorrows by cooking for the kids, I thought I was doing well, on the road to happiness....

but even that didn't really prepare me for what I was told a few moments earlier.

Mum has a spine infection and she has to be warded longer. The Dr's at CGH is not farmiliar with this bug, thus more test would have to be done. I am praying her MRI scan results will be negative of anything deadly.
2 days ago, I rushed mum to the hospital at 3am in an Ambulance. It was my first ambulance ride and I never thought, that one day I would be sitting in front of an ambulance, while mak sits at the back with paramedics …

~ A real Ummi

A Real Ummi…

Emotional, Yet the Rock Tired, but keeps on going Worries but full of Hope Impatient, yet Patient Overwhelmed but never quits Amazing even when doubted Wonderful, even in chaos Life Changer, every single day
I read the above somewhere and could not agree more. I tend to be the rock in my family, the scheduler, the one who plots our activities and plans our errands. I instruct, I remind, I activate. I give my opinions, I love, I scold….I am basically a spider with eight legs juggling everything from what food to eat to what to do during our free time… I often think what would happen to the kids, if I am no longer around. How will they survive without me..without my love and opinions? I know, that question itself is already wrong. For there is another that is way more organized.. more loving.. more firm and powerful than me. I leave my worries in HIS hands. Allah HU Rabbi.