2,3, OR 4?

Can a man really love 2 or 3 or 4 woman equally? Can a man really treat 2 or 3 or 4 woman equally?

Logically, Yes. Y? Because Allah Al Khaliq commands so in the Quran. ThaT a man can have 2 or 3 or 4 wives if he can treat them equally.

but Allah Al Khaliq also commands But if you can't be fair, than 1 is enough.

Personally, I find that my husband is a fair man. And if he ever takes another wife, I am very certain, he will try his best to be fair.

But how easy is it to be fair? Days of the week - 1,3,5? 2,4,6? Than what about 7?

On his birthday, who will he spend it with?

On Hari Raya or public holidays, who will he spend it with?

On lonely rainy thundery nights, which wife will he be cosy with?

If he is invited by his family for a function, who will he go with? Which wife gets priority? Should the 3 of them go together? What if the first wife holds his hands, how will the second wive feel? Or vise versa....

Must a schedule be drawn to who gets him during those important days?

If the days where he is slotted to be with the first wife, what if the second wife calls him for aid, can he rush to be with her? How fair would it for the first wife? or vise versa?

What about holidays? Who will he bring with him? Does he book 2 rooms per trip and alternate to be in each room per night? Lucky him but not so lucky for the wives right?

Can 2 or 3 or 4 wives be genuinely on good terms with each other? Can they love each other dearly and create a sisterhood?

We are human, we have jealousy. It is very easy to say that jealousy can be eliminated with Iman, but is it really that simple. I don't know because I am no-body. I am not wise nor pious. I try to be but I have not reach there yet.

Even if I try my best to be an anisatul-jannah (lady of heaven), can I really feel calm when the other wife gets attention. Can I chuck aside the sad feeling. Can I smile in sadness?

I would be use to have the sole attention here. I am not all use to sharing. I am sorry dear hubby. As much as you are supportive of polygamy, I still cant understand Polygamy in today's contacts unless the man is very rich and he can provide for the 2 wives equally, and comfortably. He can than provide his wives with luxuries and spa treatments etc while he spends time with either. But as long as the wives have to work hard during the day, and come home to a house with no husband, knowing that the husband is over at the other side, is bitter.

And with bitter comes loneliness and sadness. With that, the wife can either turn to Allah for dependence, as she should have from the start, or she will turn to a life full of vengeance and hatred. And this struggle to leave hatred for the other and turn to GOD for calmness will be a battle, a long battle until either wins.

And if she successfully find calmness amidst the hard acceptance to the fact that her husband has another lady in his heart (asides from his mother) anymore, than she will be awarded Jannah. Masya'Allah.

But if she cannot find that path, instead live a life filed with bitterness and jealousy, than what good is polygamy?

I know I may sound very negative, it probably isn't as scary as I foresee it to be....

and there is a Malay saying "Belum cuba, belum tahu" but this is something I do not wish to try to even know.


Anonymous said…
Salam Sha,

This posting is very deep. Berdiri bulu roma I baca... :)
Ummi Sha said…
Salaams kak,
ehtah eh kak, the words just came to me.. the bitter feeling of another woman in the picture is very scary, tapi Alhamdullilah all is well now.