I stared at my old pink funnybear desktop mirror.
An image of me appeared, middle age, smiling cutely. The stare wont go away as I looked into my old reflection.
I remember a cute and sweet little girl who had shoulder length hair with bangs.
This little girl used to be so pure and innocent, loves to day dream and have lots of love to give out to the world.
This little girl used to dream of marrying a rich man (a DR) actually, and have 3 lovely kids living in a landed home.
This little girl did not know a strong marriage could break up, she didn’t know a father could leave his children, and she didn’t know children can cheat their moms of her savings. She didnt know the world had too many real life horrors.
She didn’t know many things as the world seems ideal and protected.
As she grew up, she experienced some bitter memories. Suddenly she could not understand the hurt and how evil the people she love could treat her or others.
She turned to GOD when she felt lonely and hurt. She loved attending religious sermons at the mosque and gradually made the decision to cover her aurat in an attempt to be closer to Allah The Merciful.
Today, 7 years has passed since she embarked on marriage life. At times, she looked worn, like the reflection in the mirror.
At times, she laughs and giggles and feels thankful.
At times her children stressed her and all she wish for is time alone, which is an irony cos her biggest fear is to be alone.
Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to go to the library alone and read… just that…. To the library….
It occurred to me that staring at my reflection can bring about lots of thoughts, flashbacks and memories.
To move on or to be stuck in the past remembering the happy and sad memories? I'm not too sure, but I guess I am leaning to moving on and focusing what the future holds, and not thinking too much on the past.
Because, with every happy memories of my past, comes a sad one too.