“Treasure the moments”

I don’t know why but this phrase keeps appearing in my mind.

“Treasure the moments”

I touch his body, as he was sleeping....He opened his eyes, and I told him I was going to work. He told me to take care. It was a simple conversation but he doesnt know how thankful I am that I can still do that... that he was my husband"

After all that has happened last weekend, the thoughts of nothing is confirm in life revisited me again.

I seldom think about such things because I am always busy with work and the kids.

But really, a lot has happened to me to know that …..Nothing is permanent in life….Nothing is guaranteed.

God has fixed our fate. Who we marry, how much wealth we have in life and many other things has been pre arranged but for sure, we have to work for how we want our future to be.

I believe, I have to forgo my EGO and my own ideals for the kid’s sake. I believe, silence is better than hurtful words, I believe now, being soft is better than unleashing my anger at all beings and I believe my hubby wants a smart and thoughtful wife who faces her fears.

I believe I can’t change anyone with angry words but with patience.

The body is a little feverish following last weekend’s crying festival.

Actually, I have change a lot since I lost my parents to Divorce. I lost that cushion I once had.  God has thought me not to depend on anyone except HIM. This is proof that people change, change in ideas, change in behavior and I can feel Im am evolving.

That being said, I am a human after all and I still have my fears.

My ideal lifestyle has changed and I want my love ones to be happy that’s all. I do not want to burden my hubby on things that he can’t afford or to compare my life with my friend’s life.

Holidays and luxuries comes at a price and some gets it easily and others don’t. But Allah is fair. You might not get it, but you will get it in future. Or maybe you may not get it in future but you will get it in Akhira….

I guess I am passed the stage to comparing…..

I admit, I used to compare my life, (only to my hubby’s ears) but I have changed since I no longer have what I used to have anymore. I know, material wealth, if not being used properly will be taken away.

Appreciating someone will make them thankful. Appreciating someone is also a virtue. It means that we appreciate GOD.

I also believe being Thankful is also very important to a life filled with more blessing. Being respectful and caring to elders is also a good trait of a Muslimah. It brings blessings.

I am certain, through my actions, my love ones can see that I am trying my best to be a good person. These things can’t be fake. How long can one fake a good behavior? Obviously not long before true colours are shown.

I am sad, taken aback, shell shock and scared when my close one think wrongly about me, but I can’t change their perception overnight. One day, they will know, with the will of GOD.

I love my hubby and my kids….I keep telling myself to treasure the moments. 

I never know when they will leave me or if they ever will. I pray they never will cos they bring calmness in my life…..

I feel hurt when my love ones say things to hurt me. But I’m sure they don’t mean it because their good characters surpass those angry words. It could only be works of the devil that they were made to say things like that. I believe, they are people of good character.

Thus I will put the ego aside, bury the hurt and be as good as them as possible.  I am sad, but everything is not about me. We are living as a unit so I must care for other’s feelings and habits as well.

It’s not…..all about….Me.