My Journey with ADHD........
This is my first real post on my feelings and journey with ADHD or ADD.
It is difficult, really difficult to even accept even for the smallest of reasons, that it may be true. I am trying to read up on ADHD and I am trying to accept, that maybe, something is wrong with Abang and it is not just an attitude problem.
I feel I am alone. Alone in this journey.
I am not labelling my son yet that he has ADHD/ADD since he has not been diagnosed on this issue by anyone professional. But I have taken the first step.
I have gone to the polyclinic to get a referral letter to the Child Guidance Clinic (CGC).
I've yet to get an appointment date, but I heard its a long queue since a lot of kids in Singapore have this disorder in them. The polyclinic nurse will call me soon.
It hasn't been an easy journey prior to my decision to go to the Polyclinic to get a referral letter. Its now September and its been 9 months since Abang started with Primary One. There are good days, and there have been bad days.
Initially Abang had an anger problem and he frequent hit other kids, boys and even girls. The school sent him for anger management counselling and he went for a few counselling sessions. Alhamdullilah, Abang, now 7 years old, do not hit his classmates anymore.
Its more to his inability to focus in class and his hyper activeness at home. The teachers have been calling me almost every week to tell me that Abang refuse to do this, and do that and its driving me crazy since I'm in the office and needs to concentrate on my work.
I have been very patient and supportive with the teachers. I give them my time, and I follow up the issue with Abang when I am back from work.
At home, my helper had open up to me and told me that Abang disturbs her when she works and he is a real distraction. This is really not a normal behaviour.
I had always thought that Abang is a boy so naturally boys are much naughtier than girls. But lately, I myself cannot take his hyper activeness that I usually suffer a breakdown during the weekends when I am at home to take care of the kids.
When I am working on weekdays, I cannot wait for the weekends cos I miss Abang and Adik. But when I am going through the weekend, I feel as if my whole heart cannot take his naughtiness that I go into many episodes of breakdowns.
Today, I broke down so many times and caned Abang so many times because he just would not behave. I am down with depression as I write this post. I need to know more about ADHD and I need to be in contact with parents who have or are going through what I am going through.
Not many people understands Abang's condition and shuns their kids away from Abang. They blamed Abang's naughtiness on me and look down on me and my son. I am trying my best to discipline Abang at the same time, not be too uptight and strict since he is going through his childhood and I do want him to have good memories of it. I do not want to be a rigid mother yet I also know that discipline is very important.
It hurts me when other mothers stop their kids from playing with my children. I believe that as my children grow up, they will change for the better since I am a loving and encouraging mother. I am always there for my children except for the times that I am working. I try to balance my life, between work and parenting.
Some may say that Abang is very smart since he talks very well and is charismatic. Yet in school, he has been failing his subjects except for Malay. He do not like to focus on something for a long time and he is easily tired. He loves Maths since it does not involve much writing yet when it comes to test, he fails.
Abang loves to make funny noises and screams out of the blue. When he does this, I get really mad.
The only time when he is behaving is when he is watching soccer, playing soccer, playing soccer games on the hand phone or when he is sleeping.
I can see the cane marks on his legs and hands. They do not deter him from his misbehaviours. Its as if, caning is NOT effective at all. It is just something that settles things short term.
I feel I am alone. My hubby is getting very fed up of Abang's behaviour and wants little to do with Abang when Abang mis-behave. I always have to be the one to counsel him and to ensure that he is under controlled.
I am starting my journey with Abang now, to get him better and to release any amount of potential of success in my son. I cannot give up on him as I know, he does have his sweet, innocent side despite all the problems that he is giving me.
" It is either you are with me or you are not. If you are, than be with me every step of the way. If you choose not to be a part of this, do not relish in the glory if Abang succeeds one day"
~ this caption keeps playing through my head this afternoon. Sad isn't it. ?
Can I? For how long? .....Allah.
Ummi loves you Abang. You are innocent. You are.........
Ummi will try and be strong, so that we can go through this together.
Allah, in you I trust. Insya'Allah.