Words from my Heart...

Sometimes I feel as if my boy....and me are walking a road alone.... with Adik and our Bibik.... We are the people who often see my boy at his Worse and at his Best.... After work, I go home and teach him...Alone.... I scream, I scold, I shout..... or I laugh, I hug and I smile.... He doesn't know.... Cos its just us...and Our Creator. May We be given strength....Our problems are so small compared to the problems of other children in this world. I just watched this show on CHANNEL NEWS ASIA on HIV kids in Myanmar. It was so heart-felt and sad. Orphans as young as 4 years old are being send to the HIV shelter to get better and than they have to learn to fend for themselves in this huge world. Oh....It made me think.... the problems I face with Abang is nothing compared to the problems of other children in this world. The sufferings they face are far more atrocious than what Abang and I go through, in face, I cannot even call it a problem. I am ashamed. I will ...

Alhamdullilah.....We are ok now..after I trew "Lemons" at you..... You strongly deny any negative thoughts that I had and reaffirm your commitement and love to us.   I dont know..... Just wanna be a good wife and a good mother.... I just want us to be intact above all odds I dont want my kids to go through what I went through...to loose a father.....   One day we will be good..... I know we will.....   Raising kids maybe difficult... but seasons will past and things will change....   I just hope we, the family......change for the better.   Insya'allah...  

  My heart feels cramp. It is indeed stressful for me. Didn’t realise that I will get very affected by what I saw on your handphone yesterday. It was her name. She must be too perfect. Single and holding a good job.   My body feels pain, chest feels heavy and all I feel like doing is cry. It’s not fair to the kids.   They deserve to be in a happy environment, happy family.   I didn’t want to bring this to work, but the pain was just unbearable. You are a good man, a good husband. We are happy.... But why....I just can’t understand.   I broke down in front of D. We talked. My eyes are hurting.   Sharp.   Don’t you know it hurt us so?