The Journey - Meltdowns

Meltdowns happens quite a lot with Abang.
At times, he is the sweetest boy.
At times, he will be cranky, angry and challenging.

The most common words he uses  or says to me when he is upset and crying are:  

"I Hate You"
" I wish you will Die"

Imagine, How do I feel as his mother.
Here I am, tired after work, sitting next to him, coaching and assisting him with his school work.

Istigfar....Sabar...Ya Rabb...Engkau lebih Mengetahui.
Tonight, same thing..another meltdown cos Abang wanted to eat yet we were in the midst of doing his homework. Furthermore, he already ate his dinner 2 hours ago....
He cried and said those hurtful words when I told him to concentrate.
I told him that he was overweight and to forget about eating more food for the night.
I am tired...but we had to complete the Maths Homework. We had already completed more than half.
I stood firm. I refused to give in. He shouted at me..than when I stood up, he ran and hid in the toilet.
"Abang you come here now. We will finish this before you can eat.
I said Now! Come here!
Fine! you want to hide in the toilet, I can sit here allllll night. We will finish this homework than sleep.
I don't care if we have to stay up all night.
What you just said was DAMN RUDE. You want to be Rude, FINE!
You want things this way? FINE!"
Awhile later, Abang came and sat next to me to complete his Math homework. I continued being firm, speaking only when needed. No smile whatsoever.
Abang completed his homework.....His smile came back on again.
Me?....I'm just exhausted... Its sad when your son, keeps saying "I Hate you!" to you....
I wonder if he even realised that I am hurt. I have spoken to him about it...but he just don't seem to get it..... His anger with me never last long though...
So how can I be angry with him for long too.....?
he walked to his room... "GOOD NIGHT UMMI"



Gazal said…
Lovely and honest article. I am sure your son doesn't mean it and he loves you a lot :) may Allah put love and mercy in our children's hearts, and guide us, and reward us mums for all the hard work. here is my blog hope you like it
Ummi Sha said…

Thanks Gazal.

I will read your blog