~ The Fragile heart

~ Tonight, I questioned myself....

"Where is Allah is my heart?:"

Being a "Malam Jumaat" naturally, I made some effort to sit and zikir. 
I read the Ratib for my hubby. He is going through some transitions right now. 
Initially....it really felt as if I didn't want to be in this journey with him,
Somehow, I couldn't bring myself to leave him......

As I was reading the ratib, I questioned my own sincerity. 
The inner self was struggling...
to Be close to my Rabb.
Do I really love my creator, like I claim to or am I a hypocrite who says I walk the right path, yet at times I forget Allah and lose God from my own heart.

How do I return back to where I was? It seems that I am stuck in this moment....
A woman's heart can be strong as a lion, when it comes to protecting her family...
yet, it can also be so...so fragile when it comes to her own love story....

The answers to my own questions are actually quite clear. 
If I have Allah in my heart, nothing else matters. 

I am wondering if I can ever find my way back again.....