The Journey - Holiday Seasons

Eid Mubaraq and Selamat hari Raya. 

I am sure, many mummies/parents can relate that EID season can be both Joyous and Stressful.

If the child behaves while he is out visiting, than its a relieve and comforting feeling. 

However, when the child decides "Not to Behave" and "Be in his Zone", how do you feel?...When YOU are the only one who understands the child and not the other family members who don't know about your child's condition and simple brand him unruly and not disciplined?

It seems that every EID season, I face the same old thing where people who don't know my son  us comment on Abang's behaviour. 

And each time it happens, I smile and keep quiet because I don't feel that they are close enough to me us to know that Abang might  have ADHD.
I will than talk to Abang later to correct him in his behavior when we have left the place.

I feel exasperated that each year, there must be an incident where Abang would be so happy, he forgets, he is not in his own home. He would make noise and sing loudly and the relatives who don't find it cute ....would be angry and than tell me and Dear Hubby that we have to discipline our son. 

Usually for me, I would smile and just nod and acknowledge their frustrations cos I understand that they may be educated but they are actually Uneducated about ADHD. 

But the thing that makes me stress is when Dear Hubby gets riled up when we leave the relatives home. It will usually start in the car......I get the brunt of the scolding that our dear Abang is not behaving at people's home and what am I doing as the mother?

It really feels as if I have failed in disciplining my son and I am to blame for him not being able to behave like a normal boy....and every year, there must be at least one House and one relative that comments on Abang.....

Can't you see, that Adik a 6 year old girl can behave so well and Abang a 9 year old boy is at times unable to be aware of his surrounding and just do what makes him happy? 

Hubby truly wants Abang to change. 

Seriously, I am tired of explaining as I don't feel the need to to even explain to anyone about Abang but its the person closest to me that sometimes makes me feel disappointed. 

Abang is not on medication, and until this point of time, I do not believe in Retalin (meth)..the medication that can calm his mind and put him in a state of calm and "zombie-like" for a few hours. 
I am still praying hard, that this is just a boy character and he WILL grow out of this phase. Insya'Allah. 
I wished the people out there...all those who seemingly are highly educated, know that such children exist in our society. They are harmless. They just may not be able to think as normally as other children do even though They LOOK totally normal. 

That is why reading up is very important. Knowledge is the key to knowing. Read. Iqra. 

I am tired.......

May Allah Guide us. Ameen.....


Anonymous said…
Salam Shahnaz,
Been quite sometime eversince the last time I read you here.
Hugs..big hugs for you.
Understandably the stress and such you had to go through.It is hard to avoid people and what they say.You have been very strong although not easy and the rollercoastic emotion you have to go through.
Know what,end of the day,your son is so fortunate to have you as his mom for being loving understanding and whatnots and not theirs who speak without trying to understand.I have two young in laws with adhd/mild autism.Never easy for the mom but they outgrow it over the years and cope well in school.In syaa Allah,your son will do just fine nanti ok.Allah Maha Mengasihi dan Maha Mengetahui.That matters more than any other human's level of understanding.
I end this with Selamat Hari Raya,maaf zahir batin ya dik.Hugs.

Kak Sri
Ummi Sha said…
Wa'alaikum Salam Kak Sri....
eheheh I just started to blog again after 6 mths break..hehehe...
thank u for yr kind comments and encourangement...
totally agree that Allah lebih mengetahui...berat mata memanndang, berat lagi bahu yg memikul.

Salaams aidilfitri kak....