~ Changes .....



Lately, There is a strong feeling in me....
That is ... I need to change....
I NEED a CHANGE

but I kept on procrastinating and tell myself that it will start in 2016, the day I turn another year older.

These are my thoughts of late.....

1. More attention on the kids studies and Akhlaq. This needs alot of time, effort and Dua. More researching on ways to help Abang cope and change.

2. Quran reading - Aim to Qatam Quran for the first time in 2016. 

3. Solat - To never miss a prayer. Something till now, I am not able to put full focus on due to work and tiredness. 

4. Less meet ups with friends if not necessary. There are a few groups of girlfriends that I meet for dinner every month. Maybe, I can cut down on this or maybe, I should only go if hubby gives full approval. All this while, I assume he allows and never seeks his permission. 

5. More time with Le Hubby...even if he is too Busy, I need to find time to have at least a small coffee session with him to let him feel important. More lovey dovey, more cooperation and devotion. I will try to work on this despite many times, I feel as if, It might not make a difference.....

6. More reading....this my favorite ME TIME yet a luxury due to time factor.

7. More cooking - its time, I learn to cook hubby's favourite dishes on my own without Bibik's help. Bibik will not be around forever.

8. Less Facebook - yes, this is something that has been on my mind yet I am still not able too. I know that I am sharing more that I should and my reason is to keep in touch with Family and friends. But there is a sudden feeling ...finally, I feel that I should have some privacy and share only limited things. Hubby have been advising me to lessen FB or maybe just go in to watch the funny videos. Not to Like and interact and sharing pictures. He prefers we keep a low profile and not to share even post on our deen or religious thoughts as he is very afraid of Riak. I WILL .... TRY.....

9. Change my dressing - handsocks, loose blouse and pants, more Jubahs and proper coverage of my body and the way I wear my shawl. 

10. Build up on my savings since SXBXE does not practise 13 months. 

11. To increase my state of God Fearing and Awareness. Less selfies, less vain, more Zikir. 

I really need to work on this....especially Solat and Facebook. Hoping that I will be focus enough, to keep my mind away from thoughts that is not healthy for me. To finally be able to move on, accepting and forgetting and never hoping.
Not easy, cos there is no one to motivate and encourage me. But I believe, if I really want to change, it has to start with me and not with anyone else.....

Insya'Allah.....praying for Istiqomah.....




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