The Journey ~ Mid Year Maths Results....

I sank into depression tonight...

after I went through Abang's SA1 Maths paper....

The hard questions, I can understand.... but what I saw were easy questions, those which he could score.....

Abang could easily get a just Pass for Maths....

I don't know what I have done wrong....There is alot of guilt in me... I feel terrible..........(almost ludicrous).....

I send Abang for Tuition, paying $200 a month....

I spend alot of time doing homework with Abang....

yes, his Maths results are just terrible......

*Abang tak kesian kan Ummi ker?*

Tonight I spend alot of time, explaining to Abang if he can't pass his Maths, he cannot get anywhere.....I talked and talked but I don't know how much he really understands.....

I used the belt today. 4 strokes on his legs. It was horrible...His cries......He does not know, I love him so much, it is only for his own good. 

I decided to come up with a fix time table for Abang and cut his soccer and outdoor time.....He said, he felt as if I treated him like an 'Anak Angkat'.....

Sighhh.....I worry for him......

I hope, I can have continued patience.....
I pray one day Abang makes me proud. I pray for Abang to succeed. Insya'Allah.