~The Journey - 4 years On...
I would never have thought that 4 years since 2013, I would have the strength to write like this...
Someone wrote to me today.
Regarding Abang’s ADHD. I could see myself in her 3 years ago. Confused and worries, cos there are many questions unanswered.
The sad thing is ADHD is not a sickness where you can see the marks or symptoms. Kids with ADHD look normal, but their brains cannot process some things, therefore most people who do not know about ADHD will think and presume that the child is naturally naughty, stubborn, rude and ill-discipline. The parents get the blame for not discipline the child thus, putting a lot of anger and frustrations in the parents.
It really helps if both parents can accept the fact and stick together to help the child. For my case, I was really alone because my husband, do not believe in ADHD.
Alhamdullilah, it’s been 4 years since Abang was diagnosed. It’s still a challenge, most days, I have to repeat myself like a parrot for him to stop beating Adik, or for him to study and revise, but I must be honest. Despite Abang behaving like a small boy even though he is already 10, he does know how to behave when he is outside. He loves small kids and he is really sweet to me sometimes.
He gets angry easily but when I talk to him softly and nicely, he can listen. I love Abang with ALL my heart. And I am glad, Allah still give me a chance to live for me to see Abang’s growth and to take care of him.
Don’t give up parents.
Equip yourself with knowledge.
If you have to take leave to bring your child for check ups, GO. You’d be surprise to see there many other kids with worse conditions than your child when you go to Child Guidance Clinic.
Take it one day at a time. Keep in close contact with your child’s teachers.
As for advise from parents with similar situation. My boss’s son has ADHD. From small, he was hyper, anti social, bad in studies and could not concentrate long in school. Fast forward to 2016, this boy went through his O’Levels, passed with flying colours, went up stage to get outstanding award and now in polytechnic. He even has a pilot license. He is so much better behave all because he found a girlfriend who could encourange him.
My boss… never gave up on her son. That’s her advise to me.
So parents, Advise your child, remind him on the Dos and Donts.
Rewards them for good behavior.
There will be testing times, REALLY TESTING TIMES… cry it out. No one will know your pain, some friends may even think you are nuts to label your child as ADHD kid. But ADHD is real.
Only those parents whose kids have ADHD / ADD / Autism will understand. It is a struggle…
But things will get better. Believe.