Words from my Heart...

We had the customary YuSheng Toss and Lion Dance show in the office yesterday,  Its been a yearly affair, something that I always look forward to even though it has nothing to do with my roots or culture, but at least it takes me away from my desk for a few minutes.... No?  Tee hee.... I've been too tired, lack of sleep and slightly breathless lately..... Work has been busy,we are shorthanded, Lots of things to plan, and I miss the kids dearly..... I've been taking the easy way out by sending Abang to my mum on weekends, we win both ways, I get to finish some work and packing and Mum gets her dearest grandson.  I know this is not good but I am looking forward to the positive changes at our new place.  Abang will have his own room, Adik will have a reading corner and a balcony and Mum will be so much nearer.  Insya'Allah may Things get Easier...Amiin. We are in the month of Rabiu'Awal, lotssa Maulid...Asides from attending maulid at Masjid Aleem S...

Things are getting stressful these days.... We will be moving from our humble 4 room abode to somewhere else in another district, insya'Allah to somewhere better. Ive done about 60% packing and Ive about 10 more days to complete the rest. Glad I have a helper, at least she provides help while I just go through which stuff to pack and which stuff to trow. Hubby and me seems to be really messy, we don’t have a clear list or box labels. I just write them on the box, so I guess Id better number the boxes and write them down on a paper at least I know how many box goes into storage…. The stress of these additional work has got to me, topped with the fact that I will be staying at the in-laws for about 2 weeks. There are no empty rooms for us at the in laws, so we will be bunking in the hall, and suddenly I get so depress of the vulnerability that I might be in. My chest feels tight and Ive been on Anerex (some sort of muscle relaxant) every night… Hubby does not ...

I went to Maqam Habib Nuh today during lunch hour...met the "cool" habib , passed him a bottle of Pure drinking water and said "Please dua for my daughter".... He smiled at me, tried to lighten things and said " Dont cry lah " and he laugh a little. I guess my face looked scared that he thought I was crying!..... **gosh I should just relax** how embarrassing ! I felt better after visiting the maqam, gonna get Adik to drink for the air dua tonight..... I am waiting to hear from Abang that his Adid did not cry at school today......I know, Adik feel scared, I know she seeks her brother for security, I know cos Im just too close to her. I worry for Adik. She is not too small for school, yet the she does not seems ready for it. Ya Allah, Please protect my daughter.... Amiin .

As of last week; the 2 week of school, Adik was still crying during the assembly and maybe 1st half hour of school. She cries for her Abang and wants her Abang in her class. But when she is home, she seems all right and can even relate what she learnt in school. She have started reading some dua's and sing some songs. Im sad, worried and have been praying alot for her. My mind is always thinking about her. I guess not only is she clingy to me, I have also become clingy to her ..... But I must be the strong one..Im her Mummy. May God Protect Adik always... Amiin.

Assalamu'Alaikum warahmatullulahi Wabarakatuh.....