Breathless


My FaithBook
It’s been 2 weeks since I started reciting Surah Al Baqarah for the new home. Since the surah is rather long, the usual read will be about 2 pages every morning using my trusted Blue Quran after praying Fajr…..hoping that the new place will be protected from any harm. Praying hard that Rahmah and Sakeena come in from the open windows.

I learnt that reading surahtul Baqarah is a must in a new home aside from reading Surahtul Kursi and reciting the Azan on the 4 corners of the home. Other amalan can be reading Ratib and surah Yasin.

This morning, while reading the surah, nearly reaching my 2 page mark, I suddenly felt breathless as if I was gasping for air. It could be because I was reading a very long verse and I hadn’t waqaf at a point where I think I should have. I stopped for a while, took a few deep breaths but still I was gasping for air. The window beside me was open, and I reckon it would be no problem for the cool dawn air to pump in a lot of oxygen to my brains.

Ever since my friend fell unconscious due to no oxygen in her brains reasonly, I have been trying to remind myself to just stop whatever I am doing and breathe.

Well, so I breathe and breathe but I still found myself breathless. I felt weak…a sudden weakness as if my body was shutting down. Still in my telekung, my whole body fell to the carpet on the parquet platform and I suddenly felt as if I couldnt get oxygen into my lungs.

The first image that came to my mind was Adik’s face. I could feel the heart crying as I recited my syahadah slowly. And funny after that, I thought, oh it would be great for me to breathe my last breath after just reading the Quran, with wudhuk on my skin. How cool was that for my hubby to find me dead in that position? But that thought quickly turned to panic as I spoke to God softly…Please don’t take me yet, my kids need me…please please not now…not now……and I force myself to sit upright again gaining control of my breaths again.

Ok I’m still alive… Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb……Ok, I can breathe…Ok I’m OK. 

Comments

The woman said…
Salams Shanaz,

Alhamdulillah you are fine :) sometimes we just can't help the thoughts huh?

Just to share with you, the other day, I thought I was on the brink of death... No signs, nothing. Just feelings. And I prayed margrib like I never did before. I was literally in tears and istigfar a lot. Crazy, how paranoid we become.

Anyways, nice reading you again. :)

My prayers for your friend too.

Happy weekend.
KakSri said…
Salam Ummi..prolly I should address you as Shahnaz already..hee.Alhamdulillah you are scarying me a bit there.May Allah bless you with the best of health amin.That was an intense hunch kan...but like we have already read,the wise will ponder about death.Semoga kita tinggalkan dunia ini dalam keadaan husnulkhotimah amin...Take care sis.
Ummi Sha said…
Salaams Sis Sal,

thanks for sharing....Allah gives us the experience so that we can remember him, and remember that Death is real. May we all benefit from this.

Salaams KSri...
Amiin... yes, death is indeed a good thing to ponder.