Breathless
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| My FaithBook |
It’s been 2 weeks since I started reciting Surah Al Baqarah
for the new home. Since the surah is rather long, the usual read will be about
2 pages every morning using my trusted Blue Quran after praying Fajr…..hoping
that the new place will be protected from any harm. Praying hard that Rahmah
and Sakeena come in from the open windows.
I learnt that reading surahtul Baqarah is a must in a new
home aside from reading Surahtul Kursi and reciting the Azan on the 4 corners
of the home. Other amalan can be reading Ratib and surah Yasin.
This morning, while reading the surah, nearly reaching my 2
page mark, I suddenly felt breathless as if I was gasping for air. It could be
because I was reading a very long verse and I hadn’t waqaf at a point where I think I should have. I stopped for a
while, took a few deep breaths but still I was gasping for air. The window
beside me was open, and I reckon it would be no problem for the cool dawn air
to pump in a lot of oxygen to my brains.
Ever since my friend fell unconscious due to no oxygen in her brains
reasonly, I have been trying to remind myself to just stop whatever I am doing
and breathe.
Well, so I breathe and breathe but I still found myself
breathless. I felt weak…a sudden weakness as if my body was shutting down. Still
in my telekung, my whole body fell to
the carpet on the parquet platform and I suddenly felt as if I couldnt get oxygen
into my lungs.
The first image that came to my mind was Adik’s face. I
could feel the heart crying as I recited my syahadah slowly. And funny after
that, I thought, oh it would be great for me to breathe my last breath after just
reading the Quran, with wudhuk on my skin. How cool was that for my hubby to
find me dead in that position? But that thought quickly turned to panic as I
spoke to God softly…Please don’t take me yet, my kids need me…please please not
now…not now……and I force myself to sit upright again gaining control of my
breaths again.
Ok I’m still alive… Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb……Ok, I can breathe…Ok
I’m OK.
Comments
Alhamdulillah you are fine :) sometimes we just can't help the thoughts huh?
Just to share with you, the other day, I thought I was on the brink of death... No signs, nothing. Just feelings. And I prayed margrib like I never did before. I was literally in tears and istigfar a lot. Crazy, how paranoid we become.
Anyways, nice reading you again. :)
My prayers for your friend too.
Happy weekend.
thanks for sharing....Allah gives us the experience so that we can remember him, and remember that Death is real. May we all benefit from this.
Salaams KSri...
Amiin... yes, death is indeed a good thing to ponder.