Tonight....





Tonight, I cried after reading the Quran...I was alone at the Musollah....The kids were asleep.....
I thought I had lost the sense to cry to GOD.
It has been quite some time, that my heart seemed hardened and most times, I could only stare in space after making doas...
Tonight, I cried....like a baby....

Ya ALLAH...I seek your refuge, I seek your protection....

I cried because I thought of Mak and how she is enduring the pains in her bones.

I cried thinking of how tired I am that I had missed Habib Ali's class without even remembering that there is class tonight.

I cried because Abang has brushed away my kisses on his cheeks and shouted because he was cranky due to his runny nose.

I cried because work is terrible and highly stressful and as a Team Lead, I am expected to be able to handle it.

I cried thinking of how unfortunate some Muslims are around the world, the Rohingyas, the Syrians and the Palestinians...all of whom face bigger catastrophes than what I am facing now. I held my hands up to pray for this group of people.....

I aspire to be a good Muslimah... I am Juz 6 now of the Quran...I want to Qatam my Quran so at least my parents can wear a crown in Akhirah....

I aspire to be a good wife...although I don't believe that I am one right now, having so much expectations of my hubby.

I hope at least I get the best Mother's award in the eyes of my children.

I am uncertain as to what lies ahead, but I know it all boils down to Effort, Prayers and Tawwakkal.

Whatever its is, life goes on...we have to be strong....Just keep on living...do our best...and believe in Allah's mercy.....

Insya'llah.....Insya'Allah...Insya'Allah....

Comments

Hajar Alwi said…
As'salaamualaikum Sis,

A while ago I too had a whiff of helplessness. Sat at the edge of my bed, lost in thought and soon enough the tears went free-falling onto my prayer mat. Instantaneously, I was reminded of our Lord. Amazing how from a state of helplessness, just the mere thought of Him, is able to bring so much comfort to a barren soul.

May Allah SWT ease your affairs sis. Hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel. :)
Ummi Sha said…
Masya'Allah...Huggs sis Hajar. Hope you are feeling better now.
May Allah grant you ease.
Salaams from across the causeway. : )

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