Tonight....

Tonight, I cried after reading the Quran...I was alone at the Musollah....The kids were asleep.....
I thought I had lost the sense to cry to GOD.
It has been quite some time, that my heart seemed hardened and most times, I could only stare in space after making doas...
Tonight, I cried....like a baby....

Ya ALLAH...I seek your refuge, I seek your protection....

I cried because I thought of Mak and how she is enduring the pains in her bones.

I cried thinking of how tired I am that I had missed Habib Ali's class without even remembering that there is class tonight.

I cried because Abang has brushed away my kisses on his cheeks and shouted because he was cranky due to his runny nose.

I cried because work is terrible and highly stressful and as a Team Lead, I am expected to be able to handle it.

I cried thinking of how unfortunate some Muslims are around the world, the Rohingyas, the Syrians and the Palestinians...all of whom face bigger catastrophes than what I am facing now. I held my hands up to pray for this group of people.....

I aspire to be a good Muslimah... I am Juz 6 now of the Quran...I want to Qatam my Quran so at least my parents can wear a crown in Akhirah....

I aspire to be a good wife...although I don't believe that I am one right now, having so much expectations of my hubby.

I hope at least I get the best Mother's award in the eyes of my children.

I am uncertain as to what lies ahead, but I know it all boils down to Effort, Prayers and Tawwakkal.

Whatever its is, life goes on...we have to be strong....Just keep on living...do our best...and believe in Allah's mercy.....

Insya'llah.....Insya'Allah...Insya'Allah....