Words from my Heart...

Life is fine, occasional ups and downs, happy sad moments but mostly if my family is happy than I am as well…. I haven’t got over Port Dickson…. You may not understand… the day before I left for the trip, my brains were squeezed and hit left right and centre in the office with emails pouring down on me and people chasing me to do this and that……. So the trip to Port Dickson the next day was such a good break for me…I am now back to the office fresh and ready to face those emails again.. ho ho. Well……. We decided to bring the kids for a short get-away for the June holidays since they were bored at home…Abang and Adik were either at our home or my inlaws where they see their perternal grandparents, aunties and uncles…there isn’t much to do there anyway accept for cartoon network or Tok’s I phone games. The initial plan was to walk around Melacca town and eat at their many restaurants. But we felt that the kids will not like walking around and only I would be interes...

Standing at the look out point. overlooking the water chalets @ Avillion Port Dickson Alhamdullilah, we are back...from a short trip.... Cant describe how happy we were, spending some quality time together at a very beautiful resort Insya'allah, hope to go again for a short gate-away maybe this December? The kids love the place, I did too and hubby as well... thumbs up for Avillion.... Really really thankful for the blessings even if its just Malaysia, it is somewhere where we could afford and yet had a great time as well... this is the blessing on Earth....... A heart serene ......is sometimes more worth than money and cents.....

Its was something impromptu. We met after work, walked around and ended up sharing a glass of avacado juice before heading home to the kids.... that one hour together meant alot to me : )

just something random.... happy happy days ahead...insya'allah.... Thank God for all the blessings.....  This is Sweetie. My Kids gave her this name because they cannot think of any other name and they didn't want to name her Ginger the Cat..... Sweetie greets me every morning when I go down to go to work, and I will say "Assalamu'Alaikum Sweetie" Very friendly and loving cat.....a stray by the way. and every time we go down, we will look for Sweetie.... Pictures of my coffee and choc waffles of which I am addicted to for the pass few days... : )

Alhamdullilah ,  Its Monday.....too sleepy, didnt have enough of the weekeend.... ......... I have my coffee next to me....  Kopi Si ka Tai .... something that my colleagues here teach me, its means Coffee with Carnation Milk and Less Sugar..... Not bad the taste, at least not too sweet so I dont feel guilty drinking it.....hur hur... Alhamdullilah , Allah answered my prayers for another beach holiday.. haha.... I didn't even pray for it, I just kept thinking of it.... well, hubby booked another trip, this time to Avillion Port Dickson and we are going to try the water chalets.... Its like a chalet with the sea below us.... yeah, looking forward to spend time with the kids.... One more week of working hard, and than we are off.......!!! Alhamdullilah ,  We are fine after the slight disruption in our lives.... the slight separation...Its seems that not only I was hurting but he too as well and after talking about our feelings, we are back to being lovey-dovey b...

Usually when I talk to my son, I expect him to look at me….If he answer me without looking at me, or seems not interested and after several times of getting any eye contact, I will say “Abang Look at me, I'm talking to you!” So there was one day, when we were in the car, I was sitting at the back with the kids but my mind was somewhere else. Adik was talking to me, and I was just answering her casually without giving much attention. My eyes were looking out of the window..... Suddenly Adik little hands grabbed my face, turned it to her and she said “ Ummi, look at me, I’m talking to you!”  .....her expression in all seriousness I was speechless, …a 3 year old girl can absorbed so well… in fact, kids can really absorb fast and even follow our style….. so really, parents have to watch what they say in front of the kids….. : )

I don’t know why but this phrase keeps appearing in my mind. “Treasure the moments” I touch his body, as he was sleeping....He opened his eyes, and I told him I was going to work. He told me to take care. It was a simple conversation but he doesnt know how thankful I am that I can still do that... that he was my husband" After all that has happened last weekend, the thoughts of nothing is confirm in life revisited me again. I seldom think about such things because I am always busy with work and the kids. But really, a lot has happened to me to know that ….. Nothing is permanent in life….Nothing is guaranteed. God has fixed our fate. Who we marry, how much wealth we have in life and many other things has been pre arranged but for sure, we have to work for how we want our future to be. I believe, I have to forgo my EGO and my own ideals for the kid’s sake. I believe, silence is better than hurtful words, I believe now, being soft is better than unleashing...

(I edited and edited this post many times. I end up deleting most of the contents) Let the story be a secret. Last weekend was rough…I hadn’t cried this way for a long time. His words pierced me like a knife, and I imagined sad things…. My eyes, are red and painful. The tears must have been too much. I'm thinking of the kids feelings first ahead of mine. That’s all that I can say. I want to make this work. While my parents marriage failed after 31 years, I seriously am hanging on because I simply don’t believe in being another case in the statistics. We were doing great, very well indeed. Why do I have to put my feelings first? Sometimes its best to bury the hurt and move on....... for the kids sake......