Words from my Heart...

The bibik has once again "Balik Kampung" Insya'Allah back in time for Ramadhan.... I feel, she has more annual leave than any other bibiks.  But I can't bear to not allow her the frequent home visits, cos she has kids who miss her though they are big. Ive been handling the housework, like a busy ant. Never stop, always moving......  Wash, ironing, hanging clothes, clean kitchen, pick up trash around the house, prepare breakfast, clean the beds, wash toilets, wipe tables, boil water..... Washed the dishes and waited for the water to boil My best Friend; Mr Bosch I'm truly happy to be doing the chores, reminded me of the early days in my marriage before I hired a helper... Yes, I feel the fatigue. At times, I can barely open my eyes, but after a night's rest, I'd find my energy again and will go around the house, doing what ever necessary.... The kids don't help much, except Adik who loves to do dishes and wash the toilets....I...

"Daripada keelokan Islam seorang ialah meninggalkan barang yang tak berguna kepadanya...."  hadith Hasan diriwayatkan oleh Tirmidzi & lain. To me...it means...apabila kita boleh tidur awal dah tinggal kan drama TV kerana mahu bangun malam untuk bertahajjud.  #Reminder

Feeling thankful its Friday Ummi is feeling thankful, despite all the worries and uncertainties .....yesterday night got to solat malam, after some good deed done... Life is full of uncertainties...  sometimes, the best thing to do is effort,prayers and Tawakkal Too tired that after Abang's reflections homework, I slept early...but glad, I got up in the middle of the night to pray Isyak and than solat Sunat Hajat.  I try not to focus on being worried but rather, I just want to tawakkal to Allah swt and let HIM plan the best for me. He knows my stregth and weakness more than I know. HE knows whats in my heart...what are my thoughts...and how I feel and what I pray for.  What is beyond my control, I decided to let go.  Tomorrow is the night of Nisfu Syaaban (where our report books go up) sighh, how did I do this year? ....another blessed night..most likely we will be at our favourite masjid....Masjid Abdul Razak of course.... I hope the kids can benefit...

There is this little girl, whose has a face so adorable,  with curly locks and oh so reliable She came to our lives bringing lots of joy with her,  very sweet and loving, and such a dear The little sister who acts likes an older I would look for her if I ever need a shoulder she warms our hearts when days gets colder But many at times, her stubbornness  makes us scold her she has a mind of her own, and often her tantrums are full blown and would run into her room to be cry and be alone.  She would either sulk or cry loudly, I swear I'd just ignore her like I don't care... Most days, I could pinch her nose and squeeze her tight and she would allow me to, without a fight She loves to sleep in the middle of our bed and always like to giggle  when Abah hugs Ummi, she would join in too, our little girl  She is Abah's friend, when he drinks his Teh Ummi always feels left out lah wei... Your request for Coffeebean and Tir...

Karena itu, ingatlah kamu kepada-Ku niscaya Aku ingat pula kepadamu, dan bersyukurlah kepada-Ku, dan janganlah kamu mengingkari Nikmat-Ku. (Q.s Al-Baqarah :152) Hai orang-orang yang beriman, mintalah pertolongan [kepada Allah] dengan sabar dan [mengerjakan] shalat, sesungguhnya Allah beserta orang-orang yang sabar. (Q.s Al-Baqarah: 153) Since Abang's Mid-Year results were terrible for Maths and Science, I went down to his Tuition Center and met up with the center's manager and principal for some discussions.  While they were very concerned for Abang, they were also very positive and didn't find the marks terrible. I guess, they have seen worse. From looking through the Mid-Year papers, the discussion soon changed to a counselling session for me...... At times, I do feel like a single mother but I know, I should push away such thoughts and I must keep being strong for the sake of my kids.  Things that I need to remember:  1. No more beating 2. Keep...

He hardly listens, and does things his way Playful and active, he loves to play games all day Wanting to cycle, to school, much to his Ummi's dismay Dont grow up too fast, at times I pray... Without you Abang, my world would definitely be Grey. You may not be my pride, but you are definitely my joy You are not stupid, believe in yourself my boy You came to me each time, I gave you a hug you tears flow, and you face all smug... Believe in yourself, you are you own destiny Change and work hard so you wont end up in agony remove all the bad sins from jealousy to gluttony remind yourself always of the All Mighty Yes it does matter to gain his love and happiness all you have to do is change, behave and try and be pious Keep trying and always put family first The world is big my boy, and full of darkness,  Amidst everything, you have to change first Don't blame him, you are your best and also your worst How painful it is to watch you...

Its Friday..... I miss the flowers..... I miss the romance.... Im 35 but still very much the poetic ...romantic girl..... Its Friday.... I still hold my hp close to my heart when I see you ONLINE Its Friday... Loving the moment.... But Reality bites... I cant wait for it to end, leave the office and .... see the kiddos...

I sank into depression tonight... after I went through Abang's SA1 Maths paper.... The hard questions, I can understand.... but what I saw were easy questions, those which he could score..... Abang could easily get a just Pass for Maths.... I don't know what I have done wrong....There is alot of guilt in me... I feel terrible..........(almost ludicrous)..... I send Abang for Tuition, paying $200 a month.... I spend alot of time doing homework with Abang.... yes, his Maths results are just terrible...... *Abang tak kesian kan Ummi ker?* Tonight I spend alot of time, explaining to Abang if he can't pass his Maths, he cannot get anywhere.....I talked and talked but I don't know how much he really understands..... I used the belt today. 4 strokes on his legs. It was horrible...His cries......He does not know, I love him so much, it is only for his own good.  I decided to come up with a fix time table for Abang and cut his soccer and outdo...