Words from my Heart...

Whoever said Parenting is painless, smooth and enjoyable must have be totally lying.... This week, I cried and vocalize something that I never thought I would say.... I questioned the reason for having offspring who not only give me stress but also many... many days of agony..... It been a while since I lost it.... Today, Abang not only kept his tuition and Madrasah homework till the very last minute, he also did not put in any effort upon doing them.He seemed to be in a relax mode, often talking about sleepovers at my mum and watching Tanglin, the drama when school work has not been revised at all.... How can I just be calm and relaxed? I chased after Abang and angrily threw a chair at the bathroom door as he ran to hide in the bathroom....I must have been outta my mind!!....but I knew, that I threw it without any force.... The chair hit the bathroom door, enough to scare him much, and telling him at the same time, Ummi has hit the...

January...is my birth month.... and it is also in this month that I feel so much love and blessings.... I love this month..... Alhamdullilah..... Mum got me expensive purple lace, SIL got me me Channel,  Hubby got me a Samsung Note 5, and treated me and the kids to expensive Lebanese food,  There were 2 birthday cakes, from friends and colleagues,  Crabtree and Evelyn from cuzzin T, and lots of love an doas from many friends and family..... I feel blessed, Alhamdullilah.... But all I ever wish is for everyone to feel happy, peaceful and calm.... I was however dissapointed in his message..... that only show how stupid girls can be ..believing every word a man says and falling fast into emotions.... the following days after my birthday has been fast and furious, Work is stressful and challenging, new colleagues from HQ has moved in, I have many more Muslim colleagues, many of whom Ive know for years, they bring much love, and the Malay gang is even more united...

Only Allah knows, how my heart is screaming.... This Ummi don't want the holiday to end at all.... I am almost in tears now.  After all, I have been taking care of the kids, going on trips and walks, spending time with my precious duo.  Bibik is back from her hols as well.  And now, all leisure has to end, while we go into study and focus mode,  Home works at night, tuition's and sorts.  UMMI will definitely have separation anxiety with you both.  School Bags all pack, books labeled and wrapped, school shoes all ready, and Uniform all iron.... May ALLAH ease our journey, my children. Ameen.  Ok Here we goooooo!!! 

Kenapa ye Abang,  Tatkala semua orang di dunia ini tak fahamkan abang,  Tatkala semua orang di dunia ini ketawakan abang,  Hanya Ummi yang faham perasaan Abang  Hanya Ummi yang faham tingkah laku mu yang sangat berbeza dari kanak-kanak seusia dengan mu. Kenapa ye Abang, Orang yang kita mengharapakan faham akan nya dirimu,  Orang yang sepatutnya memberimu dorongan demi dorongan,  seringkali, memberi mu kemarahannya, dan  sering kali, dia putus asa, tanpa mencuba..... Kenapa ye Abang  Dunia ini penuh dengan jakaan (expectations),  Jakaan yang tinggi untuk kanak kanak juga,  Tidak boleh silap dan senentiasa harus sempurna, Jangan takut anakku,  Ummi akan selalu berada disisimu,  Selagi masih bernyawa, akan ku selalu mendorongmu Buat lah yang terbaik demi masa depan mu Kalau suatu hari, Ummi sudah tiada,  maka letaklah segala harapanmu kepada yang Esa (ALLAH) Janganlah engkau meletakan sandaranmu pad...

2015 has moved so fast, almost like a train.... This year, I remember : 1. Adik started Pri 1 with alot of resistance and crying, eventually, she is now a model pupil. Still learning to cope with Pri Sch life... Abit Kan Cheong with all her school work, everything has to be perfect....I can see the resilience n motivation in her. Alhamdullilah.  2. Coped with Abang's school work,found myself to be more relax in pushing him this year. Abang knows the importance of school work and has improved in his behavior in school, however, still alot of effort needs to be placed in terms off studies...Abang still needs Alot of encouragement...... 3. Hubby stopped work at OXXXXX after some bitter events from his new boss, took some time to figure out what he actually wants, eventually now settled for work with a Canadian based TelCo supporting a local carrier. A little bit more flexible, suitable for his style of working, 'start late, finish late' ....At times, there a...

My heart was in tears when I saw 'N' at the food centre that I frequent regularly. He is now a waiter there, limping and serving food. He looked pitiful.  ‘N’ used to be my classmate in primary school from P1 to P3. He sat next to me and often assisted me in my school work. Not only was he smart, he was also active and good looking, boyish Indian Muslim look. We lost touch after Primary school and I met him again in 2007 when I was working at Novena. I remembered a handsome man, smoking outside the office building. He called out my name and I was surprised that he even could recognize me let alone, remember my name after all these years.  We spoke and I told him I was married with 1 son, while he told me he was still single. He also told me that he was a plain clothes policeman. Happy that he was doing well, I didn’t think much of the meeting till I met him again at Masjid Mydin a few years later. He was still looking OK. Back to my story on N working at the food ce...

My heart felt pain and sadness when I read of the passing of the charismatic Johor Prince.  I cant even imagine the amount of sadness his family felt, let alone his mother's feelings Our Kids are our amanah. Anytime, they can be taken away. I love my kids...I enjoy spending time with them.  When we go out. (usually, its just the 3 of us)  Ummi love to look at your antiques and immerse myself in all our conversations as if , every stories shared was precious. Ummi want the both of you to have a happy childhood.  Tonight Ummi allowed the both of you to play in the heavy rain, despite it being only a mere 10 minutes of fun. You laughed and dance..... People who saw us thought we were weird! I wished I could join you both!  I told you both, it was Sunnah to play in the rain. You were both shocked, but relished the moment.  Do you remember kids? You told me it was the best night .... Happy moments indeed.