Words from my Heart...

Daddy called me today as I was stepping out of the bus, just a few steps from home... Its been awhile....I took the call.  I was holding back the tears.... I'm sure he knew....I will always be his little girl.  Dad gave me some advise....about what sadness I was facing.  all I wanted for him to know was that I missed his presence in my life..... I know where he is, somewhere in JB  yet, I have not found the permission to visit him....I am sure, after 7 long years, I now have the courage to see him face to face.... i realized whatever dad did or what were his reasons, It was not to harm me.  It may be due to circumstances.... As humans, we err and sin... Allahhhhh.....  I'm glad we talked... Alhamdullilah .....

Mum after her Dialysis session at NKF  Just Dropped of Mummy for her dialysis session. Time check 6.25 am It has been my duty to drive Mak for her dialysis session every Monday morning right after Subuh. The dialysis centre is roughly 10 mins drive from home. Alhamdullilah for the opportunity. I see it as an obligation of a child towards her mother. I usually drop Mak off and while seeing her walk under the blocks, my heart says a prayer for her...while I'm in my car; for Allah to ease Mak's life and grant her good health and happiness. Then I drive off.... Tawakkal to Allah SWT to take care of Mak for me.... HE is the best Protector. Mak is strong.... On Wednesdays and Fridays Morning.... I'd call GRAB taxi to fetch her at her place and send her to the centre. Time will be around 6.15am. Mak obviously is a brave granny! To take a taxi in the wee hours alone. Masya'Allah. I pray, that she will end her life, a good way with Husnul Khotima, considering the sadness...

so......Mak decided to stay with Abang.... He will be moving to a big landed property He will be giving Mak her own room on the ground floor Mak can use all the air con she wants Mak can have her own garden again.  suddenly, her promise to me changed.... My heart is broken... i AM happy for Abang and his family but I really wanted Mak to stay with me suddenly I question my own intentions....all these while, its only me and sis who has been going up and down the hospital appointments with Mak...and if Mak has any problems, it was always me that had to listen and help..... and who does she choose to stay with, not me.  I had looked forward to have her stay with me..even though our home is not big and we are not wealthy, we are considered OK. Medium. average.... Our house is blessed. We pray.... we go to the masjid.... Yet..... Its not easy to be truly ikhlas . Especially when we don't feel appreciated.  Texted Bro K....who understands and gave me som...

I must give myself a pat on the back... I planned and organised this birthday bash with a little help from my love ones for Abang's 10 year old Birthday....It wasn't easy.....but well worth it...and I paid for everything except or the food which was taken care by Abah. Credits:  Civil Servant Bunglow : by BIL I artwork for Invites: SIL kin kin Goodybag preparation: SIL kin kin Goodybag stickers: sponsored by Kak Mims UTS Jellies: half priced 'Mak' Mariah Brownies: discounted and made with lottsa love by my colleague 'kak Siti' Soccer cake: Swensons Decor: done by collegues and girlfriends Food set up : Mak and MIL Food prepared by: kak Noraini WJ BBQ: BIL E Monetary gift for Abang's new bicycle and handphone : Family Actually, the yearly practice was just a birthday dinner at Swensons... Hmm ...I did celebrate his birthday with the bigger family when Abang was 1 and 2 years old...after that, I stopped cos I never liked ...

Have'nt been able to do any blogging since Ramadhan.... Didn't expect that the whole family was gonna fall in ill at the end of Ramadhan This year, Eid happened to be only lukewarm with us visiting about 10 houses every weekend. We also did not receive much visitors because we were sick all the time.... I must say, this must be one of the most quiet Eid.  As I am typing this now, I am still nursing one of my worse cough episode in history...Its nearly a month with 2 MCs in the bag. X-Ray results showed my chest is good and no signs of pneumonia or any lung infections.   Mak making Dua on the night of Shawal This was with Mak on the night of Shawl 2016 @ Masjid Al Abdul Razak.  I am so thankful, she got to be at the masjid with me and her cucus that night.....it seems to be a yearly tradition that I bring her to the masjid for takbir. Thank you Allah for allowing me to spend time with my mother. Ameen.

This Ramadhan had turned out into such a beautiful month.... I love Ramadhan....but I don't normally like EID...maybe cos I get easily tired during Eid. I brought the kids to the masjid on Fridays/Saturday and Sunday nights for Terawih prayers... Adik waiting for solat Terawih to start So far, Abang does 12 rakaats before the qasidah break and will leave to play with his friends after that.  Adik does Solat Isyak and and a few rakaats of Terawih until she gets tired and she will wait by my side.  Mak gets to go as well...Alhamdullilah....Nani and Tok and Mamus  goes to the same masjid too so its really a family affair. I'm sure the kids enjoy it seeing family around. Mak making Dua after solat Terawih We love Masjid Abdul Razak..basically its a small quaint ' Kampong ' like Masjid and everyone is familiar by face to each other.... The kids are a regular jemaah so they are much welcome by the adults despite their a...

Hello New Office Space.... Please be good my dear Desk.....!! Lottsa changes here, more and more new colleagues coming in....we all had to give up our big boomerang tables for spurs like this.... Thankful non the less..... Life is full of changes...embrace it...Be Strong....Stay close to Allah..... xoxo Ummilovesyou