Words from my Heart...

Its a Monday.... The day where my jitters always gets overboard until I leave the office and silently say "It was'nt so bad after all....Alhamdullilah!" We applied for Abang's school this morning. Insya'Allah if all goes well...he wills start Primary 1 next year. I've checked my work emails, will be off to work soon. Sent the kids off their school bus today. Something which I rarely get to do. Both kissed me so hard. They miss me, I know. They want me around all the time, I know.  But work has to go on, and so does life until Allah will's it to change to a different direction.  I can feel the jitters. Scared of the unknown.  There is nothing much to do except to pray and keep on trying. 

Its the 9th day of Ramadhan . There seems to be a lack of motivation to be "holy". Probably because the kids has been rather active and I'm quite tired at work.....I am trying to take each day with a step and doing what best I can. May Allah forgive me.  Alhamdullilah , things are OK. Amidst rushing home from work to break my fast with the family, I am also trying to do more Ibadah at home after dinner. Hubby still maintains Terawih prayers at his favourite mosque. Masjid Abdul Razak . While he goes for Terawih , I ensure my kids and helper are all cleaned up and we will sit and pray together. Ofter, we recite Ratib Alhadad to make up for 'what' we lost at the mosque. The kids can be a handful at times. They cant sit and pray for long. Sometimes in order to get some silence when I pray, I allow Abang to watch his cartoon DVDs. Than me and the helper will pray together. Adik will sit around us reading her books or drink her milk. I'm thinking ...

Little Habib when he was 2 years old I found this old picture of Abang on his 2 years old birthday celebration at our first flat in Chai Chee...Masya'Allah.. today my Abang is 6 years old.....!! Alhamdullilah, Thank you Allah for blessing me with such an adorable and entertaining son, although there have been much challenges along the way, his smile and lovingness to me and my family surpasses the heartache and worries.... You are our Ladoo, our Busyuk and our Entertainer. Son, if you ever read Ummi's blog, take note that you have a special place in my heart.  Don't forget your prayers, even if you are busy, Always have Allah and Rasullulah in your heart.  Before doing anything, start with BismillahiRahmanniRahim and Selawat to the seal of all Prophets, Muhammad S.A.W Always be humble and thankful for all the blessings.(remember our deal to thank Allah for 3 things before we go to sleep at night? best kan....) Be kind, loving and helpful to the weak, to ...

Its but another Sunday night....I am feeling down. I know I am going to have another separation anxiety with the kids again after having spent lots of quality time with them this weekend.... "Why cant the weekend be at least 3 days? 2 days is just not enough... 3 days would be just nice." I complained to hubby in the car one day.... As if he could do anything about it.... yeah wishful thinking.  Work is important, as important as my hope to attain family work life balance....  Work has increased, but yes I cant complaint, as so is the pay. It will help.... Sometimes I wonder if its worth it to leave my kids 8-10 hours in a day just to earn $ to have the luxuries we need. I think and I think and I really know it is more than just the luxuries. It is the CPF, medisave, insurance, a sense of intelligence and confidence. It is also a sense of progress. But of course, being a Stay at home mum is the most noble job I can think of as yet. But I havent been able to be one...

Its been a while.... I was thinking a lot, I felt worried but I couldn't find time to write.  Dzikiring  Asma-Al Husna  calms me down. Complete faith keeps me feel secure. Work was hectic, suddenly, I am being  CC-ed  in every major email at work, thus, the mind is fine tuning to such a life, bigger responsibilities and definitely, scared stiff of it still.  *deep breaths* My life was turned a little bit chaotic for a moment... feelings of disappointment, happiness, thankful and overwhelmed engulfed me last week.... Alhamdulllah , Thank you Allah, you have presented me with a promotion at work. I  don't  think I deserve to be anything more than a Senior but You have presented it to me and there must be a wisdom in this.  Thank you Boss for believing in me....believing that I was the right person for this....Thank you to those who hated my promotion and was disappointed in it and told me I DON'T deserve it. You guys make me want to...