Words from my Heart...

Lately, There is a strong feeling in me.... That is ... I need to change.... I NEED a CHANGE but I kept on procrastinating and tell myself that it will start in 2016, the day I turn another year older. These are my thoughts of late..... 1. More attention on the kids studies and Akhlaq. This needs alot of time, effort and Dua. More researching on ways to help Abang cope and change. 2. Quran reading - Aim to Qatam Quran for the first time in 2016.  3. Solat - To never miss a prayer. Something till now, I am not able to put full focus on due to work and tiredness.  4. Less meet ups with friends if not necessary. There are a few groups of girlfriends that I meet for dinner every month. Maybe, I can cut down on this or maybe, I should only go if hubby gives full approval. All this while, I assume he allows and never seeks his permission.  5. More time with Le Hubby...even if he is too Busy, I need to find time to have at least a small coffee session w...

I ts amazing how fast Mak is healing and how she is already up and About....The surgery cut is also healing nicely.  My heart is calm now that Mak is back home. Its true.... after hardship comes ease.... Alhamdullilah... Mak is back home, resting, receiving visitors. It was a total of 8 days in SGH.  The only change I have been observing is Mak tend to act very childishly now, almost like a kid who wants alot of attention.She talks like a kid and is extra Manja.  Hope, its just a post surgery syndrome and not anything permanent.... Went to 2 of Shaykh Afeefudin's lectures just now at Masjid Mydin and Masjid Alkaff.  2 really good classes where I got alot of advise...... He stressed for us to be thankful in times of happiness as well as trials. Say Alhamdullilah. Even if it is a test, say Alhamdullilah.... ALLAH will give a solution for it when we have no knowledge of how to solve the problem.  ALLAH knows what is best fo...

Been Visiting Mak daily at SGH daily... Could not bear not visiting Mak...even though I feel so tired from work.  Alhamdullilah I am so thankful, Bibik does the morning visits to bath and clean Mak... She is really street smart and can go to SGH by train on her own.  I do not know how to repay Bibik..... She has taken alot of load off me in terms of physical strength....I am breathless most of the time.  Alhamdullilah Mak is feeling better today... She could do some exercise and and her legs feel better. Not as painful as before... could be the input of Calcium through her neck.  Dr Jeremy Ng from SGH is indeed an excellent Doctor. He has treated my mother well and did the Paratyroid surgery as neat and careful as possible.  Not only is he experience, he also has a caring and gentlemanly character of a Man.  The card that I gave him cannot compare to how much he has helped us. Always there when I have any queries and easily re...

I am tired.... I am busy.... Helpdesk is shorthanded and busy.... Too many task, still pending....but my mind is on Mum's recovery. The errand girl in the family for mum....the problem solver for mum.. first call: "Wheres my wallet?? I cant find my wallet....!!" second call "Where is my clothes..I need my clothes....!!" third call "My fruit basket is missing...Someone took it!!!" fourth call "Are you coming?? You better come ok" The one who has to listen to Mum's whims and fancies.... Am I just that?? ............ Can I run away?? ..............

Alhamdullilah, the surgery went well....All parathyroids were identified and removed. There is a long cut on Mum's neck now...her voice is a little course....She vomitted and Merlioned her breakfast this morning...Her first meal since surgery. Her appetite is good. Lucky Bibik was with me and she helped to clean Mum....I was busy talking to the Dr and Nurses. I was the only one who sent mum till the surgery room yesterday at 12.30 pm...I followed her to the entrance of the operating theater.... I remember feeling lost, yet I stayed strong. I told Mum to recite HasbuNallah wa Nikmal Wakil..... I walked back to mum's hospital bed, where all that was left was her pillows. I buried my face in her pillows at the corner of the 6 bedded B2 ward, and cried my heart out...... ~ Allah test those HE loves....I find solace in that...I hope I am loved.

Mummy's paratyroid surgery is today..... It has been a painful few weeks.  hopefully, removing the paratyroids will give back Calcium to her bones and she wont feel much pain after this..... Staying strong for her. Left her at her bed side yesterday....she looked forlorn but strong..... My 2 brothers are not around...travelling and work.  I'm so thankful to have Mas with me...else, It will be even harder..... Praying hard, all will be well....

I told hubby I missed him....It was unplanned. It just blurted out...maybe cos it was sincere. Since he started work with SXXX, he has been leaving early to fetch a friend, and driving to Bishan.  He used to send me to work. That little time, we would squeeze in breakfast, and catch up on work stories and the kids.  I didn't know that this change in routine will have an impact on me but it did. Slowly, I felt as if I missed him....especially in the morning when I am on my way to work, alone...just me and my storybook.  He bought me new black ballerina shoes over the weekend. It has always been Clarks.  Its an annual thing at Isetan,Parkway The shoes are well over a hundred dollars, but hubby always wanted me to wear comfy shoes so that I can walk and not complain of any leg pains.  He knew it has to be Clarks because of my big feet and Clark shoes cater to women with Big feet and gives it cushion and comfort as well. He knew that I would rather b...

This was our medals for the 5KM Great Eastern Women's Run 2015.... I Had gone for the run with some girlfriends despite not feeling too well.  It was my first run. I didnt really know what to expect and how my body would take it..... Didnt really train for it as well since I had been sick for a few months.  Alhamdullilah, I survied, and Glad I went ahead to experience the whole atmosphere.  Now, unfortunately, I am feeling the reverse effects of the run.....muscle pain!!! The whole body feels as its been beaten up...Still I am all right...I can take it....  Aiming for 10KM next year, Insya'Allah...have been advised for 10KM run,  I must train for it.... else, it can be tough and even damaging. Since I could do 5KM, I just want to push myself a little further.  The euphoria of finishing the run and crossing the finishing line was epic!  It goes to show, determination is a huge role in success.  I was celebrating silently just after t...