Words from my Heart...

    A few days back, as I was sitting in a cafe, sharing waffles and ice cream with 2 of my acquaintances, we talked about life’s challenges. One conversation led to another and somehow, I told them about how I am tested with a son who has ADHD. One of the ladies, than passed a remarks if I was sure my son had ADHD or am I just being Over dramatic.   She also mentioned that there might be nothing wrong with my son, and ADHD was just want I wanted him to have, a convenient excuse for his indiscipline behaviour.  It hurts me when I receive such comments. Which mother would be sick enough to self-label her son with ADHD? Which mother wants her son to have this condition? ...................I then told her, that I didn’t diagnosed him but the clinic. I also explain that ADHD, unlike normal illness is not a disease with clear visible symptoms,   it is a behaviour condition and can often be misinterpreted with indiscipline.   ...

  she walked passed me as if, she don't know me. Felt the hurt, for when she needed my help, I was there for her. When she needed my help, oh how good she would be to me. and this happens time and time again.   exactly......and I was hurt.....she is non other than my own ........   an advise came to me....from who else, but my advisor when I am down.   Hubby said:   The reason why you feel hurt is because you expect something for being good. When you expect something, you will be utterly disappointed .   Do good deeds without expecting anything in return. Allah will than reward you in ways you cannot imagine, maybe in the form of giving you good pious children.   For that, I nodded and I knew Allah swt wanted me to learn this lesson.    

I read with a heavy heart of the news of the mum who threw her 7 year old Austistic kid out of the 9th storey window in Tampines last week. I was affected by the news for a few days. Her special son died from the fall, and she has been arrested and charged with Murder. Poor lady. Who are we to judged her? No one can understand how a mother can kill her own special needs son and the netizens have began to condemn this lady ..labelling her HEARTLESS. Somehow, in all this, I can relate to her stress and depression. She must be Deep Deep in depression. With the lack of support from people around her, she must have snapped. I am not saying what she has done is right, but I do hope the courts listen to her case and give her leniency as well as treatment. It is a wake up call to people in her shoes. Get Help. Speak OUT Write in a Diary or a Blog. Embrace life as it is. Depression can be serious. I have been in depression. If not for my faith in Islam, and support from fr...

Meltdowns happens quite a lot with Abang. At times, he is the sweetest boy. At times, he will be cranky, angry and challenging. The most common words he uses  or says to me when he is upset and crying are:   "I Hate You" " I wish you will Die" Imagine, How do I feel as his mother. Here I am, tired after work, sitting next to him, coaching and assisting him with his school work. Istigfar....Sabar...Ya Rabb...Engkau lebih Mengetahui.   Tonight, same thing..another meltdown cos Abang wanted to eat yet we were in the midst of doing his homework. Furthermore, he already ate his dinner 2 hours ago....   He cried and said those hurtful words when I told him to concentrate. I told him that he was overweight and to forget about eating more food for the night.   I am tired...but we had to complete the Maths Homework. We had already completed more than half.   I stood firm. I refused to give in. He shouted at me..than when I stood up, ...

  Dear Abang   If one day, you read this my son.... do know that your Ummi loves you very much. The most important for Ummi is that you turn into a righteous, steadfast, wise and happy man. Lead a positive life. Leave what is Haram. Seek God's pleasure. Work hard, enjoy life, treat your family well.   Remember God and Rasullulah at all times. Pray. Zikir. Selawat. Life will be a struggle but you can succeed with hard work and being earnest and truthful.   Lots of love.... Ummi.   I kept thinking about my last entry.... No, I don't think my son is special needs. It does not feel right to say that. I'm am  NOT the mother to a special needs boy.   My son has A.D.H.D Abang is impulsive, active and has trouble focusing for long. He is good in Malay and English but fails in Maths. He can be independent, he can go out on his own and he can go to the toilet on his own. He has his own ideas and now wants ...

  I used to tell myself, “I feel so alone...I feel Alone in this journey”....which is so wrong, because, as a Muslim, I must know that GOD is always with me. I guess, I always felt that way because the person I depend to be on this Journey with me does not want to be in it. He don’t believe in ADHD. And every time he mentions ADHD, he is just making a joke out it. I am so done! I need to be strong.   I have come to accept what I have been given. So what if no one else is in This Journey with me and Abang.   I need to be with him. I CANNOT GIVE UP.   I am his MOTHER. My son is SPECIAL. He will succeed one day. Abang has been diagnosed with seventy percentile ADHD. As much as I do not agree with this diagnosis, I might have to. It’s the only way we as a family can move forward. From my observation not many people understand and sympathise with ADHD kids. Ive done a some research; ADHD is a brain deficiency. There are some functions that ...

Sunset by Senggigi Beach in front of Qunci Villas Abang has been getting fatter. This is my main concern now. His appetite is just too big. Looking back at his old photos, he has grown double his size since Primary One. I am getting worried.   Just spend a 7 days vacation with the kids in Lombok, Indonesia. Needless to say, Abang ate alot, even more than mine and hubby’s portion. While we adults can’t finish a plate of rice, Abang is eating his plate as well as taking my left over rice portion.   His behaviour is a wave of good and bad. He can be a good boy understanding instructions and behaving better than Adik at one point, but on another point, he can be out of control with his screams and weird behaviours.   I have started going for behavioural therapy with him at the Child Guidance Clinic. Suhana is our Psychotherapist. Glad I met her.   She is a sweet Indian Muslim lady, and she shared me some tips to assist in Abang’s behav...