Words from my Heart...

And so this will be another first for me. Wisdom tooth extraction next Friday Insya'Allah.... Went to see my dentist, Dr Rudy at Bedok, T32 just now.  My top left Molar was hurting, but the pain comes and goes.  Had to do an X-ray, and I found out that my Top Left wisdom tooth was erupting and it was erupting in the direction of the molar.  Thus, the 'comes and go' pain when it tooth erupts. It was pushing the molar giving me a sort of throbbing itchy pain. Dr Rudy recommended that we do an op under local anesthetic soonest to take out the Top wisdom tooth. Truth is, I am scared of  the pain, injections and blood, but seems that in order to be Wise, one will have to first undergo wisdom tooth extraction...haha...well, thats a joke, I thought to myself.   Dr Rudy wanted to do the Op straight away. It will cost around $650 which can be paid all through Medisave except for GST.  Since I will be going for a big dinner this com...

I went alone, as expected ..to meet the HOD and Cikgu.  I didn't know how to react, so did the Cikgu. It was kind of awkward at first, but as soon as I started talking, I realized I could really talk.  The bottled up frustrations spilled out, yet there was one thing that surprised me. I actually wanted to give Cikgu a chance to explain and I wanted to ease the process as much as I could.  I guess the softness in me still run deep, and I wanted to see her point just as much as I wanted her to see my point. Call me soft, its OK. Today could be her day, one day, it could be mine. I never want anyone to make me intimidated, so I guess its better to be kind. Alhamdullilah every point was put across, sorry and sincere apology was asked. I accepted.  At the end of the meeting, Cikgu eyes filled with tears and I knew she might have been frustrated in the whole matter. Maybe disappointed that she didn't handled things better till it got escalat...

Dear Son,  Today, Ummi did the unthinkable. Ummi went to your school and made a formal complaint on Cikgu H. I spoke to your VP and there will be another follow up session with the Cikgu as well. Ive always wanted to lie low, worked closely with the school...so I’m kinda surprised myself , that I eventually went. You didn’t want me to go to school, but I knew she was treating you badly for too long, since last year, and I couldn’t let it continue. Ummi has always sided the Cikgu or any of your teachers. Ummi had always told you to respect the teachers and you were in the wrong that’s why you were scolded. Ummi always wanted you to know that life was not easy and you won’t be protected as often as you would like.... But yesterday, when Cikgu called you a LIAR for not handing in Unit 9 worksheet, suddenly the lioness in me woke up. She called you a Liar after I texted her that I did not see Unit 9 in the file. I told her I could not find it a home. S...

Something I've been reading every Jumaah....upon his advise..... surah Kaafi ayat 1-10 "Our Lord, grant us from Yourself mercy and prepare for us from our affair right guidance." - 18:10 Ameen Ameen Ameen.... innallaha wa malaikatahu yusalluna ‘alannabi ya ayyuhalladzina amanu shallu alaihi  wasallimu taslima.  Artinya,  Sesungguhnya Allah dan malaikat-malaikat-Nya bershalawat untuk Nabi. Hai orang-orang yang beriman, bershalawatlah kamu untuk Nabi dan ucapkanlah salam penghormatan kepadanya.”  (Q.S. al-Ahzab: 56).

Tea Break @ Minang - Arab St Took Half day leave to bring Mak to SGH... Her heart check up went fine and she was happy to know the bill this time was less than $30.  Everyone from the taxi driver to the hospital staff were so friendly, it must have been a blessed day.  I had to handle Mak all by myself and I felt happy, I could push her in a wheelchair. The feeling was purely, bliss.... After the check up with Dr Guna, we took the cab to Arab st and Had tea-break at Minang.  Sharing a cup of Teh-O,  we chatted like old times... At times, I wonder why I drifted apart from Mak after my marriage....Its like I put in so much effort in my own family, that I really had to put her in the back seat. I miss the good Ol'Times with Mak...we used to be so close back than. I can almost remember our Orchard trips just like it happened yesterday. Been trying to make it up to Mak now that the kids are bigger....Hope, I still have much time left.... We than ...

Allah test people HE loves.... Alhamdullilah..I have never felt that HE abandoned me.  HE Test me but all this while, HE has been next to me riding the storm with me and saving me out of danger when he knows I am drowning.  Alhamdullilah.....setiap orang akan diberi Ujian seberat kesanggupannya... In short, ALLAH swt knows best..... When you are tired, know that ALLAH Knows and Sees... This could be just temporary.... Don't give up doing the good and kind things you've been doing.  Even though it feels like you have been taken for granted and this is not the life tat your dream of.....  I am sure, sadness do not stay forever, and there is ease after hardship.... Humans do not have control over situation...Why were you removed of your post or Why did your company merge and expanded? Its not THEY but ALLAH who decided it and allowed it to happens. HE has better plans for you. Yaqin in this. We may not be able to see it.  Husnul Zhon. I am train...

Why is the woman’s heart so soft? Why is my heart so soft? Allah is the controller of hearts, and he has made my heart soft. Hubby is seriously considering a career move and with that we may have to relocate. Meantime, he will do something else, another job..... It’s a noble job.... and nothing to be ashamed about. I poured out my feelings again to him...on our way back from Habib Ali’s Halaqah. Dear Men out there..... give your wife the attention they deserve. Even more if possible. A happy wife, is a Happy you..... Am I in a mid life crisis? Why am I Always asking for love and affection? I never used to be like this.... I feel so down now. I am always asking for my own time. I don't like it when Hubby is firm to me. I want him to be loving all the time. I get so sensitive easily. My typical day seems to be :  I come home from work, and I have a 6 year old angel clinging on me, telling me her day’s story...and a...

You told the kids, that you would bring them out with your friend to watch the Fireworks, as I was going out with my girlfriends for some 'Open House'. I assumed, it was her. Hmmmmmm. Suddenly, my heart felt a mix of anger and defensive. They are my kids. They are MINE and not any other women. Of cos, they are yours too. But More Mine.  I thought I am ready. If ever, Polygamy was to come to me; I would accept it with Ikhlas .  So why was I defensive? Like a Mother Lion protecting her cubs. Later, I overheard you said you would bring the kids out with Zain & Family cos Zain mentioned earlier that he wanted to catch the fireworks at ECP or something...... Ahhh....so I had assumed.  At least I got a taste of what it feels like.  And honestly, Its not easy at all.....

I am not asking for the moon... nor diamonds or anything extravagant.... I am asking for  your time... your attention... your love.... your appreciation..... Is that too much to asked for?  Am I not the girl you went crazy about years ago...? or are you taking my heart for granted. To love and need when you are down,  to control and dictate when you are unafraid... Bleed my heart for you... Mended my heart for you... Stayed strong for you... Kept smiling for you.... Today you left me standing by the door..... looking down, I walked ahead and forced a smile... and pretended as if everything was fine.... yet, I don't know anymore.... just don't know anymore.... #storiesoftheheart

We walked to the SG50 National Day Carnival today after Magrib... Just the 3 of us.  We heard the National Day songs....sat on the mats, sang the National Anthem, read the pledge and than watched the fireworks.... You guys had the national day tattoo and even took picture with the Minister.... It was beautiful wasn't it kids? I'm glad I brought you there...at least we saw the fireworks close up... Wish you were there with us.  It would have been complete.... Happy 50th Birthday Singapore Home is truly where the heart is. 

Abang and Adik in 2008 Dear Kids, You might read Ummi’s blog one day. Maybe this blog might be my legacy to the both of you. Maybe you will miss me and want to read my postings. Well, Ummi enjoy writing. How I wish I can be an author like Daniel Steel and Nora Roberts. They are my favorite authors. This blog is a spin off from Ummi’s first blog where I wrote mostly on my spiritual journey and “Little Habib” (Abang). This particular blog is more on your growing up days and also Ummi’s own musings. Hey do you both know that you like to call me around 5.30pm to ask for Macdonald’s? Eventhough Bibik already cooked? Yes.... Adik always order Fillet O’Fish meal with Ice Milo and Curry Sauce while Abang prefers Grill Chicken Wrap meal with Ice Milo and Curry Sauce.  There are some days when Ummi is short of spending money (especially month’s end), But I always make Niat that I am buying you kids these meals for the sake of Allah. Ummi hope Allah...

Alhamdullilah...3 rd week of Syawal just passed.  We had a mini open house last Sunday as some relatives from Dad’s side wanted to visit Mum. My colleagues and Hubby’s family and relatives also came and the food was just nice for all. Most of the cookies and cakes are finished. I'm happy that there is no wastage this year and I managed to cut down on ordering Hari Raya kuehs. Throughout every visitor we had, I had prayed that ALLAH swt sent his Barakah to my home. Ameen. ~ actually....No one knew the sadness underneath my smile. Many things are going on. Overnight, the company that I worked with for over 15 years has been acquired but a Giant American Company. We will be supporting more that what we are doing now. Can the whole team cope? I plan to cross the bridge when the time comes.  I  am also unsure If I can take the extra workload. No mention yet on the new pay package. Honestly, I am happy with what I am getting now. Just give me more time...